NOW

Now there is…

Less outside but more inside..

There is just false teeth in the whiskey. 

Time for creativity and self growth.

Much more thought, I have to make a list of exactly what's required… because someone else is doing it.... saving a fortune this way. Having to find other things to do… a walk, jigsaw, crossword.

There is just a tree now

There is a distance  

Now there is a lot of restrictions that we cant do, we cant socialise, we cant be near other people, people are constantly washing hands, people are fighting to get some sort of income, a lot of self employed people are now on their arse, police are stopping people from going anywhere which is not essential, some people whose escape was the outside are now stuck indoors. Even though it is all in good measure, our freedom is gone. 

There is dodging, avoiding, hiding

Chaos

There is calm and the realisation that more is accomplished when one tries to do less

There is a lot that no longer feels relevant 

Not a hairdressers appointment available 

Crossing the road to avoid contact 

Sedentary inaction but happy stillness and sunshine...oh and time, so much time but it moves swiftly without much happening. 

There is considerable confusion and frustration and anger towards the government and saddness 

Silence

There is hope, news skills, learning in the making, meditations, letting go of what was my life...building a new life. I don't know what that means but I don't care.. building, learning, I'm letting go of what no longer serves me

Peace and solitude.

Spring, life online and family.

Now there is pause 

Painting and Love

There is a strange weird AI world going on and I'm not sure I like it 

Patience, there is frustration, there is the wanting to do more, help more, do better, be more still, do less, resist indifference, bake more, ferment things, move more, dance more, take time to be present more, connect, love, scream with joy, move, move, move, stretch the fibres of my being. Listen. Learn.

There is an abundance of time it feels - time rich,  

There is existing in a bubble at my parents house. 

The unknown world inside of me.

Time and improvements (Slow improvements / Little wins / Little losses – Less time berating over the losses and more time focusing on the wins).

A personal calmness. Home is home. Worry for others especially the young 

There is people avoiding (and digital silence / or noise and repetitive media blather and even more despair at being 'run' by incompetent charlatans than there was before 

Calm 

Now there are online digital performances  

Pause. Reflecting, questioning. 

There is this  

A more thoughtful and controlling life

There's a background of monotony to the days. Try to remember what day it is... Be sure to get out of the house. 

Now... I'm not sure 

There is silence or birdsong, and the first ever owl 

An awkward sort of bow or salute or wave in close contact with an urge to hug the random stranger you just met

There is a different situation where the same narrators (Dominic Cummings et al) are attempting to turn narrative into reality. But there is also a grassroots, experiential situation happening too. More conversations more care, respect, compassion and solidarity are naturally occurring. Another kind of human nature, which isn't all dog eat dog is playing out. People are wearing facemasks, but maybe they are wearing invisible compassion-goggles too. Seeing stuff that was always there, but for the first time in a long time, of maybe ever? We don't know what this all means yet because it's still playing out.

Now there is in here. 

Distance  

Fairy

There is nothing

Uninterrupted dawn chorus and evening song and chirping in between clearly heard all day long. 

I rejoice in my freedom with time

There is a stillness that was longed for but not realised back then. A chance to create for myself without judgement (my own). Tinged with guilt that others haven't this. Leaning into a series of emotions, which there's more time to accept.

Time; to reflect, to accept, to make peace. Grief of the loss of a brother, but also what went before, and that may not exist in the future. Also, a strange confidence that the anxious mind - that people often don’t understand - is almost an expert when living in lockdown!

It feels like there is still time. In fact there’s plenty of time.

Now ‘people of difference’ have the advantage. The socially awkward, the queer (=contra), the autistic, the introspective, the unambitious, the dyslexics, the lonely, etc etc. People who struggled before have special powers, it seems to me. We (I count myself as a person of difference, of course) are, perhaps, more able to adapt to the prevailing sense of uncertainty and strangeness.

Now there is freedom! (Albeit constrained) 

I think quite a bit about sex 

Birds

Facebook

There is hopefully always the here and now… I am fuddled, befuddled and determined to ignore most of it and become Alice in Wonderland… in a beautiful world of sunshine and love and incredibly good brave people. I am becoming more and more of the child I once was… I am joyous in the small things and furious with the crap… Love is the answer Mr Lennon said and so did Jesus by the way.

Now there is tree-hugging

A new cycle of cleaning things. A new species of fretfulness. Time at home. Different dancing. Lists. All manner of cognitive dissonance. Worry for friends. Hard social interactions at a distance. Walking up the middle of the street. Strange new gloopy time. More talk. Modest lunch in the sun. Welcome quiet.
 

There is slowing down. Time to listen to the birds and watch buds bloom. A yearning to connect through letters and calls in place of hugs.

We will ‘jump the broom’ connecting with technology  

I can smell the flowers, watch the birds, bees and butterflies enjoying the lockdown.

Now there is a more natural pace 

There is more to life than money 

There is sensitivity, and the floorboards creak louder than before.

Peace and quiet 

There is only the moment. To think about

Disgust at the needless deaths 

Appreciation and simplicity

Space

Fear, a cancer too long...

There is unrest not knowing when I can get overseas again. This makes me sad.

Now there is a chance to change things.

There is monotony

Arseholes

There are flowers

There is a more introspective experience going on. A chance to question what is actually going on around us and possibly look deeper into ourselves. It’s a shame about the stench of fear though. And the ever so blurred truth.

There is confusion and often arrogance, perhaps defensive

Time and space 

There is silence - no traffic on the roads - no air pollution. I swear the birds sing louder - I hear the sparrows bicker outside the window in the morning and the blackbirds sing in the afternoon. I now live in the present - no other clock than my own body. I look inward, I repair things around the house with time and care now that I can afford the focus

Space and time.

Fear, loneliness, silence, time for? Finding, Zoom, FaceTime.

The world feels simpler considering how busy my life generally is.

Now seems to be a good thing. 

All my bad habits magnify 

We hold our own until soon

Now there are moments of joy in a strange world of mistrust

There is no shame in ‘failure’

There is a break

Don't want to over explain it but having to deal with anxiety constantly is really tiring and I've often thought, I wish the world would stop spinning, just for a while so I can get myself together a bit - hit deadlines, rest properly etc. And then it happened in the form of the lockdown, no pressure to socialise or have meetings, just peace for a while. Now I'm hoping the lockdown will last a bit longer so I can finish the manuscript I'm very late with. I wouldn't mind if I had to write off the whole year.

Now there is an anxiety for the future

It's life in slow motion. Time to reflect. Time to enjoy the leisure time and care more for one another. 

There are no groups of friends going anywhere because you are not allowed to.

There is a chance, a chance we might all realise life is precious and the planet is 100% affected by our actions. Now we can think again and act rather than speak

Focus

Now there is space and time away from expectations

There is time 

Now there is seclusion

An overreaction consisting in making civil servants the heroes of a poorly managed crisis

Now, there is water. 

Yoga classes via Zoom 

Now we compete

There are buds blooming in slow motion.

There is mute

Now, there is a lot of fear, a lot of uncertainty. Personally for me, I realised how much I actually don’t like staying at home. I’ve grown a love for meditation and therapeutic walks. There is also a lot of self-reflection, and refining in our daily schedules, things we took for granted and things we wish we could do right now. And I imagine it’s similar for a lot of people. 

There is a void.

There is socially distant, daily allowed exercise from your home address.

Now there is Covid and a dessert where holding hands and kissing is illegal 

There is clarity, space, freedom. 

Space

Waiting, Stillness, Pause, Fear, Appreciation....

There is time to walk and sit and think and read.

Now there is Time. Being in Natural time - the Nature Time - the Body Clock time

A slower pace. A peace in the air - to listen to the Natural world - and realise how LOUD birds really are. Not minding so much about waking up at 4.30 am. A reminder that ‘I’ am a tiny piece of the Bigger picture. Time to write letters by hand - Hand writing! (remember that!)Acknowledge people. Speak to family that I haven’t spoken to for too many years.Feel how close the Past is to now. Feel how now Now is NOW. Feeling every emotional shift. Seeing and feeling the Fullness and the emptiness of the river. The night sky becomes ever more intriguing. Seeing how quickly Nature reclaims the man-made spaces - parks become meadow like and the birds and other park inhabitants roam freely - I roam freely - enjoying the emptiness of the City spaces and jumping over walls into closed parks. The strange Space-Negotiation-Dance we have started adopting when walking down a street. Seeing both an Open acknowledgement in people when passing, and also the closed- Innes- a Fear. Noticing how openly drugs are being dealt and how life for some has not changed at all. The frequencies are being accentuated in society’s strata. A new Ritual has developed in the form of clapping on a Thursday at 8pm. Observing how the NHS has become politicised and the media campaign that surrounds it. Moments of clarity matched with moments of uncertainty. A time to un-pick, review, what has been, what is, and what may be... Realising I don’t miss many of the things that used to occupy my time. Feeling how warming it is to communicate with other people. Being a constant gardener

Now I am in my eighth week of quarantine, I have adjusted more to the slower pace of being at home and not having any of my regular work. There have been complications, finding out I am ineligible for any of the governments income schemes but luckily managing to receive a grant from the Arts Council of Wales’ Covid-19 fund. Though thankful for the grant, it felt like a kick in the teeth to know my income isn’t recognised by the government’s lockdown response.Finance aside, I have been in the lucky position of being in lockdown with my partner. We’ve not wound up each other too much! We’ve cooked from scratch almost everyday, taken part in god knows how many virtual pub quizzes and made hilarious attempts at dance aerobics in the names of daily exercise… It has all helped keep us in check during isolation. The sound of nature replacing heavy traffic in the city centre is something I will never tire off either.

There’s a new normal 

There is just the right amount

There is loneliness, 4 walls, the wood-house which I don’t want to leave anymore. 

Now there is This

(106 voices)